A Setback Is a Bruise, Not a Tattoo

How do you feel about setting goals? Are you in the camp of YES! I need intentions to get anything done! Or, does the thought of goal setting bring you out in a cold sweat — the pressure!

In our Facebook community we've talked a lot about goals and intentions, and the response is usually something like this;

Week one — Killing it. Getting up at 5 a.m., measuring time, money, output (or whatever else we've promised ourselves to stick to). New week, new me... woo! 

Week two — slipped up on one or two of the 'absolute musts'. Drank coffee after 1 p.m., went to the shops for a salad and returned with a snack basket or woke late and missed the new morning routine altogether while flying down the stairs half-dressed, chasing a tearaway toddler and whispering obscenities under your breath.

If you're feeling the latter, like really feeling it. I hear you. We put so much pressure on ourselves to stick to new regimens. When we slip up, rather than take a step back and try again, we offer harsh judgment on ourselves, claim it a failure and pour scorn on our lack of willpower. Obviously, we're just not trying hard enough, are we? So what happens?

We stop trying.

We figure it's easier not to try than to try and 'fail' and face the harshest critic of all, ourselves. Herein lies the mistake; you didn't fail; you just suffered a setback, and a setback is a bruise, not a tattoo.

Setbacks are not only inevitable, but they're also necessary. A setback allows us to see that something isn't working and investigate why. You're missing out on some precious wisdom if you give up after a setback and don't consider why it happened.

Perhaps it happened because what you thought you wanted from it, you actually don't; if that's the case, great! You get to change direction and try something else. Look for joy. What feels good?

It may have happened because you realise that getting up at 5 a.m. leaves you physically and mentally exhausted, and you're pushing against your body's natural rhythm. In that case, evaluate why you needed that extra time first thing. Can you do those things later when your body wants to cooperate? You may need to know what your natural rhythm is and need to work on finding that out. That's another lesson right there.

Maybe you skipped that salad because it bores you rigid, and the thought of another leaf was enough to send you hurtling toward the bread aisle. Again, lesson learned! You can work with your body's needs without depriving yourself. When you know to listen to your body, you want to take the very best care of it. Master Coach Susan Hyatt refers to the body as your 'GodPod'; I love that description. Your body is your only real home, yet somehow, we manage to go through life completely ignoring it! Tune in. You have a natural balance, and your body always knows the answer; maybe you just need to return to your own innate wisdom.

If you're suffering from setbacks just now, stop beating yourself up over them. Seriously, stop doing it. What are they trying to tell you? When you stop judging and start listening, it's incredible what you'll learn, and then you can change direction and try something that will work for you. 

If you're loving the goals you've set and you're totally rocking t, I salute you, and you can be assured I am raising my fizz-filled glass in your direction (it's 5 o'clock somewhere, right?), but if not, then ask yourself why. Consider a more gentle approach. Are you getting what you need? 

Perhaps all you really need is to re-set your inner sat-nav and keep going, whatever the direction.

I believe in you (always).

Tricia Scott is a passionate startup business mentor and the Founder and Editor of The Female CEO - Create Evolve Overcome, a platform and digital magazine holding the space to showcase female entrepreneurs from all over the world. 

The Female CEO is gaining global recognition daily and Tricia is able to bring her own level of expertise as a start-up mentor and multi-company director to her very exclusive table along with her team of brilliant Guest Editors and Contributors. You'll usually find her with her MacBook in one hand and a coffee or a glass of something fizzy in the other Reach out anytime!