Healing Your Money Story: A Guide to Leaving a Healthy and Empowering Legacy

By Ilana Jankowitz.

Often seen as a stressful and taboo topic in many households, money appears to hold the power to not only shape our individual lives but also to influence the legacy we leave for our children significantly. 

But when we allow ourselves to explore and release our deep-rooted beliefs and behaviours around money, we open the door to abundance and pave the way for a legacy that's so much greater than just material wealth. 

So today, we're diving into the transformative journey that comes with healing your relationship with money. And we'll explore some actionable strategies to start you on the path to shifting your money mindset, so you can begin to heal your family lineage and create an empowered legacy for your children and future generations.

Unravelling Your Money Story

Nearly every journey of change starts with understanding your habitual 'stories', and it's no different with money. Your 'money story' consists of deep-rooted beliefs, emotions, and experiences that are often unconscious and shape your financial decisions. From my many years of coaching women around this, the common threads I see are stories of scarcity, fear, or misunderstanding about money, and most of these have been passed down through generations. 

The first step in changing this generational narrative is recognition and reflection.

Identify the recurring themes in your financial life. Are you constantly in debt, afraid to look at your bank account, or anxious about spending? 

These patterns are clues to the underlying beliefs that drive your behaviour. Mindful reflection and/or working with a money coach will help shine a light on these hidden stories, allowing you to rewrite them into ones filled with abundance, confidence, and wisdom. 

Many more women now are empowering themselves by seeking money coaching earlier because they recognise the profound impact a healthy relationship with money can have on their lives and their children's futures.

Crafting a Legacy Beyond Wealth

"Never let the family you came from damage the family that comes from you." – Anon

When considering the legacy you want to leave, it's crucial to go beyond just obvious tangible assets. Of course, ensuring your family's financial security is important, but the values and lessons about money you pass on are equally vital. 

The question to reflect on is… 

"What do I want my legacy to be?" 

Is it merely about leaving behind material wealth? Or is it just as important to you to pass on wisdom that can guide your children through life's financial ups and downs?

Having come from an extremely damaged family with lots of poverty, stress, and trauma, it's always been my dream to give my children a different legacy, and a different life than the one I had. 

My deepest desire is to share with them all the tips and nuggets of wisdom that I've learned about life and money and instil confidence that helps them go after their dreams fearlessly. I want them to know and understand that money is a tool that, when used wisely, can open doors to fulfilling their aspirations and contributing positively to the world.

And the clearer I've become about my legacy, a beautiful thing has happened! Of her own free will, my daughter Abigail came to me and asked to come into my business and learn everything I know so she could work with me. 

I can't even find words to express what a blessing this is for me! I've always dreamt of passing the baton to her, and now it's happening. I can see the past family traumas are healed, and the legacy I'm passing on is bright and filled with possibility.

Empowering Strategies For Creating a Healthy Money Legacy

Sometimes, the hardest part of doing anything is knowing where to start. Here are a few ideas that will help you get the ball rolling with creating a healthy money legacy for your family.

Open Conversations About Money

At first, it might be uncomfortable, but breaking the cycle of money being a taboo topic in your household is so important. Instead, encourage open discussions about finances, and share your successes and mistakes. 

Transparency is the name of the game here and creates a healthy money dynamic between you all. This equips your children with the confidence to have open conversations and make well-informed financial decisions.

Education and Experience

As the saying goes, knowledge is power! So, power up your children with financial education from an early age. This can range from basic household budgeting to understanding investments. And if you're worried you don't know enough about these things yet, this is your nudge to learn! 

Equally important is giving your children the opportunity to manage their own money. This might come in the form of pocket money or an allowance (depending on their age), which they can budget, save, and even invest. These practical experiences are invaluable life lessons for them.

Model Financial Mindfulness

Children learn by example, so demonstrate mindful spending, the importance of savings, and the joy that comes with giving. Bust that myth that 'money is the route of all evil!' and show them how it can, in fact, be beautifully aligned with personal values and used as a force for good in the world. Remember, your actions and decisions with money create a powerful model for your children's financial behaviours.

Embrace Failures As Learning Opportunities

The reality is, that not every financial decision you make will be the right one, and that's okay. When mistakes happen, take that as an opportunity for some valuable learning. This approach teaches you and your children resilience and that failure isn't an endpoint but a stepping stone to better decisions in the future.

Final Thoughts…

Healing your relationship with money and creating a healthy and empowering legacy for your family is an incredibly rewarding journey to take. It is, however, one that requires patience, perseverance, and a willingness to confront and rewrite your own money stories. When you do this, you transform your and your family's lives and set the foundation for generations to come.

For some, taking the first step on this legacy-building journey can feel overwhelming – but you don't have to go it alone! Start by taking my Money Quiz to gain some understanding of your current beliefs about money. Then, let's talk! Together we'll dive deeper into your quiz results and come up with some actions to help you get clear on the legacy you want to create. 

lIana Jankowitz is a certified Money Coach, born and raised in South Africa and currently residing in Zurich. Her work involves identifying behavioural patterns around money, transforming negative thinking, and moving from a self-destructive mindset to one that is positive and inspiring.

Passionate about helping women break free from self-doubt, low self-esteem, and lack of self-confidence and move towards financial liberation, she can help you with her free money quiz, Empower Your Finances: Money Makeover for Women event, Guided Group course or the Valuing Your Services Ebook.

You can read all about Ilana and her work here or on any of her social pages Facebook | LinkedIn |Twitter|Instagram |YouTube