Overcoming Limiting Beliefs for Female Entrepreneurs & Working Mothers

By Marisa SIm.

As a female entrepreneur and mother, you often perform a delicate dance—juggling the demands of managing a business while nurturing a fulfilling family life. The dual roles of a mother and a leader are immensely empowering, yet they can also be incredibly challenging. Having experienced this journey firsthand as a mother of two and being a trauma-informed coach, I deeply understand the struggles and triumphs that come with it. The societal pressures, coupled with practical obstacles such as the high cost of childcare, can add complexity to an already demanding role.

In Switzerland, for example, where I reside, the cost of childcare is staggering. A UNICEF report ranked Switzerland 38th out of 41 countries regarding access to affordable childcare. The net cost for full-time care for two children can consume around 25% of a family's net income. Such factors can create significant barriers for mothers returning to work, forcing many to choose between advancing their careers or staying home. 

Despite these challenges, there's something even more critical- recognising and overcoming our limiting beliefs is the key to successfully balancing motherhood and our careers. These subconscious barriers can undermine our confidence, decision-making, and overall potential to thrive. This article will explore the nature of limiting beliefs, their formation, and practical strategies to break free from them. This transformation journey will help to enhance your professional capabilities and enrich your motherhood experience, creating a more holistic and empowered life.

Understanding Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are deeply ingrained convictions that restrict our abilities and potential. They act as invisible barriers, dictating what we think we can or cannot achieve. Common examples include thoughts like "I'm not good enough," "I'm not worthy of success," or "Money is hard to get." These beliefs often start in early childhood and are influenced by parental attitudes, societal norms, and personal experiences.

For example, as a child, my parents often told me, "Money does not grow on trees", which led me to internalise the mindset that money is not readily available. Similarly, suppose you observed your parents struggling with their business or working long hours at the office. In that case, you might have adopted the belief that you, too, must endure such hardships to achieve success and that money is evil.

These limiting beliefs become entrenched in our subconscious, subtly guiding our decisions and actions, often without conscious awareness. For working mothers, these beliefs can be particularly pervasive. Plus, the societal expectations around gender roles and motherhood can lead you to have feelings of inadequacy or guilt, making it challenging to thrive both personally and professionally. More than sheer willpower is needed to succeed in business or your career. You must cultivate an unwavering belief in yourself, your vision, and your mission. Become unlimited.

The Formation of Limiting Beliefs

Early Childhood and Parental Influence

From a young age, children absorb messages from their environment. Parental attitudes and behaviours significantly shape a child's belief system. For instance, if you often hear your mother complain that being a working mum is tough as a young girl, you might believe that a successful career and motherhood are mutually exclusive.

Conversely, if you observe her mother effectively managing work-life balance by seeking help, delegating tasks, and nurturing her business while actively participating and supporting you in your life, in that case, you will likely adopt a positive outlook. You might believe, "It's not hard to be a working mum" and that "It's everything is figure-outable."

Societal and Cultural Conditioning

Societal norms and cultural expectations also play a significant role in shaping limiting beliefs. In patriarchal societies, women are forced or socialised to prioritise caregiving and to place others' needs before their own, which can lead to beliefs like "I must be a perfect mother" or "It's selfish to focus on my career'.

In the working world, these beliefs can manifest as self-doubt or imposter syndrome, especially in male-dominated industries where women may feel the constant need to prove themselves. The pressure to conform to traditional gender roles can create internal conflicts, making it challenging to embrace and excel in both business/career and motherhood.

Personal Experiences and Cognitive Processes

Personal experiences, particularly failure or criticism, can reinforce limiting beliefs. For example, if you are a female entrepreneur who encounters difficulties securing funding for your startup, you might internalise the belief that women are less capable in business. Cognitive biases, such as confirmation bias, can further entrench these beliefs. When you hold a limiting belief, you tend to seek information confirming it and ignore evidence contradicting it. This selective perception strengthens the faith, making it more challenging to challenge and change.

How To Identify Your Limiting Beliefs

Awareness is the first crucial step. It is recognising and understanding the subconscious beliefs that hold us back. This awareness can be a powerful catalyst for change, shedding light on the patterns that influence our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. It requires an honest and reflective examination of your inner dialogues and the stories you tell yourself. By identifying these limiting beliefs, you see how they shape your actions and decisions, often without our conscious realisation.

Mindful Reflection:

1. Begin by observing your thoughts and self-talk.
2. Pay attention to moments of self-doubt or negative thinking.
3. Notice situations that trigger strong emotional reactions and document them.

These triggers often point to underlying limiting beliefs. For instance, feeling anxious before a meeting might reveal a belief about not being competent enough. Journaling can be a powerful tool to capture these thoughts and identify patterns.

Identify Your Triggers

An excellent way to determine your limiting beliefs is to identify your triggers. For example, a friend once got upset with me because I told her that money is energy; she didn't speak to me after that day. But months later, she told me that the way I talked about money upset her, and that was because it triggered her money scarcity mindset.  

Get Feedback

Another way to identify your limiting beliefs is to ask your trusted friends or family for feedback on what they see holding you back and check in with yourself to see if it resonates. They can offer insights into behaviours or attitudes that reflect your limiting beliefs, which you might not be aware of.

Work With A Professional

As a trauma-informed coach trained in root-cause therapy, I'm able to identify which limiting beliefs you have using a very robust testing system. For example, I had a client who always had stomach pain before she did a big project or event. After recognising and working together to identify her root cause, she realised it was the fear of failure stemming from an event that happened in the past.

How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs

Once you have identified your limiting beliefs, the next crucial step is actively overcoming them. Recognising these beliefs is a powerful beginning, but the fundamental transformation occurs through dedicated and persistent efforts to change them- you can unlock a new potential level and thrive in your professional and personal lives. Here are several effective strategies that can help you dismantle your limiting beliefs and pave the way for a more empowered and fulfilling journey:  

1. Challenging and Reframing Beliefs

Questioning Assumptions: Actively challenge the validity of your limiting beliefs. Use Byron Katie's four questions to do this:

Is it true?

Can you absolutely know it's true?

How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought

Who would you be without the thought?

Lastly, turn the thought around. Explore the opposite of your limiting belief. Identify specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is accurate in your life.

Reframing Negative Thoughts: Replace limiting beliefs with empowering alternatives. Transform "I'm not good at this" into "I can learn and improve with effort." Regularly practising this reframing helps reprogram your subconscious mind.

Positive Affirmations: Develop and repeat positive affirmations that counteract your limiting beliefs. Statements like "I am capable of balancing work and family" or "I deserve success in all areas of my life" reinforce new, empowering beliefs.

2. Cognitive and Behavioral Techniques

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is a structured approach that helps identify and change negative thought patterns. Working with a CBT therapist can provide tailored strategies to challenge and alter limiting beliefs.

Behavioural Experiments: Test the validity of your beliefs through action. For example, if you believe you can't manage a large team, you cannot lead a project. Successful experiences provide evidence to counteract your limiting beliefs.

Visualisation: Practice visualising yourself in the future, overcoming challenges associated with your limiting beliefs. Attach the emotions related to the success of reaching your goals. This mental rehearsal can help build confidence and support positive outcomes.

3. Emotional and Somatic Approaches

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT): EFT, or "tapping," involves tapping on specific pressure points while focusing on limiting beliefs and associated emotions. This technique can help release emotional blockages and reduce the intensity of negative beliefs.

Somatic Practices: Engage in activities that connect mind and body, such as somatic breathwork, dance, or yoga. These practices help release stored emotional energy and reduce the impact of limiting beliefs on your body and mind.

Expressive Writing: Write about your limiting beliefs and the emotions they evoke. This process of expression and reflection can lead to insights and a sense of release, facilitating the adoption of new, positive beliefs.

4. Subconscious Reprogramming

Hypnotherapy: Hypnotherapy accesses the subconscious mind to identify and change limiting beliefs. Guided by a trained hypnotherapist, you can replace negative beliefs with positive suggestions while deeply relaxed.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP): NLP techniques help reprogram the subconscious by changing the language and mental images associated with limiting beliefs. Techniques like "anchoring" create positive emotions in mental associations, reinforcing new beliefs and "reframing" helps reframe negative thoughts into more positive ones.

Affirmations and Mantras: Regularly repeat positive affirmations or mantras to shift subconscious beliefs. Ensure these statements are believable, clear, positive, and stated in the present tense to effectively influence your mindset. Such as "I can learn and improve." or "I'm good enough by trying my best."

5. Therapeutic and Supportive Relationships

Root Cause Therapy (RCT): RCT focuses on uncovering and healing the underlying causes of limiting beliefs. Addressing the root issues stored in the subconscious facilitates deep emotional healing and belief transformation. For example, I had a client who had a limiting belief that it was not safe to rest. Going through the process with her, we uncovered that the root cause was an incident in her early teens when her dad called her a "parasite" and "good-for-nothing", which was in her subconscious mind that she must always be busy doing something.

Mentorship and Coaching: Work with mentors or coaches who provide guidance, support, and accountability. They focus on the present and future goals, offer new perspectives and challenge you to step outside your comfort zone, fostering personal and professional growth. A good coach can slowly help you build confidence to achieve things that can dismantle your limiting beliefs.

Support Groups and Communities: Joining groups where others share similar goals or challenges can provide encouragement and a sense of belonging. Hearing others' stories of overcoming limitations can inspire and motivate you. 

6. Continuous Learning and Growth

Personal Development Resources: Engage with books, online courses, and workshops focusing on personal growth and overcoming limiting beliefs. These resources provide valuable insights and techniques to support your journey. I recommend reading the book "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life" by Wayne Dyer and "Atomic Habits" by James Clear.

Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice mindfulness and meditation to cultivate awareness and detachment from limiting beliefs. These practices help observe thoughts without judgment, making adopting new, empowering beliefs easier. I recommend using Calm, Insight Timer or Headspace. I have been meditating for eight years now, and it has helped to heighten my awareness and notice my negative self-talk. From there, I can minimise my self-doubt and coach myself to look at things positively and be self-compassionate towards my mistakes.

Setting and Achieving Goals: Set achievable goals aligned with your new beliefs. Each success reinforces your capabilities and solidifies positive beliefs, propelling you towards more significant achievements. For example, I believed I was not smart enough, but I challenged myself to host an online summit in 2023 to prove I could do hard things.

Embracing Empowerment in Motherhood and Leadership

For female entrepreneurs and working mothers, true empowerment is about more than just juggling roles—it's about thriving in both. This journey begins with the courage to confront and dismantle the limiting beliefs that constrain us. These deep-seated convictions, often rooted in past experiences and societal conditioning, can significantly hinder our growth and success. By acknowledging and overcoming these beliefs, you unlock the potential to lead confidently, nurture with genuine love, and inspire those around you to break free from their constraints.

Empowerment starts with recognising your strengths and valuing your dual roles. As a mother and a business leader, you possess a unique blend of skills and perspectives. Embracing these strengths is crucial. It's about cultivating a mindset that supports your growth in every aspect of life, allowing you to excel in your professional endeavours while maintaining a fulfilling family life.

Courage is essential in this transformative process. It takes immense bravery to challenge the deeply ingrained beliefs that have shaped your identity and actions for years. This courage involves questioning the validity of these assumptions and envisioning possibilities beyond the limitations they impose. It means daring to step outside your comfort zone and confronting the fears these beliefs often instil. Doing so opens the door to a world where your aspirations are not just dreams but achievable goals. However, courage alone is not enough.

Effort plays an indispensable role. Overcoming limiting beliefs is not a one-time event but a continuous, intentional practice. It requires dedication to consistently engage in practices and exercises that reframe your thinking, shift your perspectives, and reinforce positive, empowering beliefs. This effort is a testament to your commitment to personal growth and willingness to undertake the inner work necessary for lasting change.

Support is another crucial component of this journey. It's not one in which you have to walk alone. Surrounding yourself with positive influences—mentors, coaches, friends, and professional networks—provides the encouragement and accountability needed to sustain your journey. These allies believe in your potential and offer invaluable perspectives and motivation. Moreover, therapeutic approaches and supportive communities can provide deep insights and practical tools to navigate the complex process of transforming deeply held beliefs.

Finally, be kind to yourself throughout this journey of self-discovery and transformation. Change is a gradual process, and every step forward is a victory worth celebrating. Each small triumph brings you closer to your goals and reinforces your ability to achieve them. Embrace your progress, nurture your potential, and forge a path that reflects your authentic, empowered self.

If you're ready to explore how Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) can help you overcome your limiting beliefs and unlock your full potential, I invite you to book a free coaching call with me. Let's discuss how this powerful approach can support your journey towards a more empowered and fulfilling life. Visit www.marisasim.com to get started. 

Marisa Sim is a trauma-informed coach. As a childhood trauma survivor, she understands firsthand how trauma affects our mental health and well-being. Now she supports women to heal from their childhood trauma and step into their power.

You can find out more about Marisa and her work here.