Why We Need To Remember That A Setback Is A Bruise And Not A Tattoo

By Tricia Scott

How do you feel about setting goals? Are you in the camp of YES! I need goals to get anything done! Or, does the thought of goal setting bring you out in a cold sweat — the pressure!

In my Facebook community we talk a lot about goals and intentions, the response is usually something like this;

Week one — Killing it. Getting up at 5 am, measuring time, money, calories (whatever else we’ve promised ourselves to stick to). New week, new me.

Week two — slipped up on one or two of the ‘absolute musts’. Drank coffee after 1 pm, went to the shops for a salad and came back with an entire snack basket of epic proportions or woken late and missed the new morning routine altogether while flying down the stairs half dressed, chasing a tearaway toddler and whispering obscenities under my breath.

If you’re feeling the latter, like really feeling it. I hear you. We put pressure on ourselves to stick to new regimens. When we slip up, rather than take one step back and try again we offer up harsh judgement on ourselves, claim it a failure and pour scorn on our lack of willpower and obviously, we’re just not trying hard enough, are we? So what happens?

We stop trying.

We figure it’s easier not to try than to try and ‘fail’ and face the harshest critic of all, ourselves. Herein lies the mistake. You see, you didn’t fail; you just suffered a setback. I am reminded of one of my favourite quotes;

‘A setback is a bruise, not a tattoo.’

Setbacks are not only inevitable, but they’re also absolutely necessary. A setback allows us to see that something isn’t working and look for the reason why. If you give up after a setback and don’t really look at the reason it happened, you’re missing out on some precious wisdom.

Perhaps it happened because what you thought you wanted from it, you actually don’t. If that’s the case, great! You get to change direction and try something else. Always look for the joy. What feels good?

Maybe it happened because you realise that getting up at 5 am leaves you physically and mentally exhausted and you’re actually pushing against your body’s natural rhythm, in that case, evaluate why you needed that extra time first thing? Could you actually do those things later when your body wants to cooperate? Maybe you don’t know what your natural rhythm is and you need to do some work on finding that out? Another lesson right there.

Maybe you skipped that salad because it bores you rigid and the thought of another leaf was enough to send you hurtling toward the bread aisle. Again, lesson learned. You can work with what your body really wants and needs without depriving yourself. When you know to listen to your body, you want to take the very best care of it. Master Coach Susan Hyatt refers to the body as your ‘GodPod’, and I love that description. Your body is your only real home yet, somehow, we manage to work our way through life completely ignoring it. Tune in. You have a natural balance, and your body always knows the answer, maybe you just need to return to your own innate wisdom?

If you’re suffering from setbacks just now, firstly, stop beating yourself up over them. Seriously stop doing it. What are they trying to tell you? When you stop judging and start listening, it’s incredible what you’ll learn, and then maybe you can change direction and try something that will work, for you. Not for Sharon next door and her brand new diet or the latest magazine headline. Just for you.

If you’re loving the goals you’ve set and you’re totally rocking it, I salute you, and you can be assured I am raising my fizz filled glass in your direction(it’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right?) but if not then ask yourself why. Could you consider a more gentle approach, are you getting what you really need? Perhaps all you really need is to re-set your inner sat-nav and keep going, whatever the direction.

Tricia Scott is the Founder and Editor of The Female CEO - Create Evolve Overcome, a platform and digital magazine holding the space to showcase female entrepreneurs from all over the world. She works and collaborates with various organisations to bring the most inspirational journeys, stories and training to help entrepreneurs on their own personal success mission. The Female CEO is growing, expanding and gaining global recognition daily and Tricia is able to bring her own level of expertise as a coach, mentor and multi-company director to her very exclusive table along with her team of brilliant Guest Editors and Bloggers. You'll usually find her with her Macbook in one hand and a coffee or a glass of something fizzy in the other and she always have sunglasses in her hair. Reach out anytime!